Going to start an essential oils company “Colorado Prairie Juice All Natural Essential Oils”.

Infomercial: “Narration will be me walking though a field with Mick in arm saying something like “Whether you’re a stay at home parent with a penchant for armchair science or a cultural appropriating behavioral therapist with a “degree” from Nuropa ‘university’, Rest assured there’s a Colorado Prairie Juice All Natural Essential Oil that’ll fit your needs, lifestyle, neurosis or malady. From childhood lymphoma to a misaligned Shakra… Colorado Prairie Juice All Natural Essential Oil is there for you”.

“If there’s one thing uneducated right wing antivaxxers and ineffectual leftist commies agree on it’s the Healing Power ™ of Colorado Prairie Juice All Natural Essential Oils”.

Preserved for posterity: